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There is something in humility
which strangley exalts the soul.
*St. Augustine
Today's Scripture
8 If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 But if we confess our sins, he will forgive our sins, because we can trust God to do what is right. He will cleanse us from all the wrongs we have done.10 If we say we have not sinned, we make God a liar, and we do not accept God's teaching.
*I John 1.8-10 (NCV)
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We can struggle between two extremes in regard to sin, or get stuck in one. First, we can think we are pretty free, if not completely so, of faults. This is a self-righteousness. Yes, we might admit we are a sinner, but we act otherwise. Second, we can struggle with a haunting sense of our imperfections and feel we are very unworthy.
Groveling in a sense of guilt or unworthiness, as though the Divine is pointing a condemning finger at us and with a "you really disappoint me" look on the face, is a form of self-obsession, and one as deadly to the spiritual life as a self-righteousness.
In A Forgiving God in an Unforgiving World, Ron Lee Davis retells the true story of a priest in the Philippines. The cleric was a much-loved man who carried the burden of a secret sin he committed many years before. He repented but still had no peace, no sense of Divine forgiveness.
In his parish was a woman who deeply loved God and claimed to have visions in which she and Christ talked together. The priest was skeptical. To test her he spoke, "The next time you speak with Christ, I want you to ask him what sin your priest committed while he was in seminary." The woman agreed.
A few days later, the priest inquired, "Well, did Christ visit you in your dreams?" "Yes, he did," replied the woman. "And did you ask him what sin I committed in seminary?" "Yes." "Well, what did he say?" "He said, 'I don't remember.'"
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In the I John passage, the writer says, "But if we confess our sins...." The Greek word for "confess" is "to speak the same thing"; thus, to agree. So, you thought something you should not. To confess is like the Spirit saying you did it, and your reply being, "You know, you're right, I did."
Now, I admit the clarity of what we did that we should not have sometimes takes time. We may need someone trustworthy to guide us in looking at our actions. We all have said or done things that we much later realized was not helpful or right.
We are to confess our wrongs. Yet, Scripture does not teach us to go beyond that in false humility. We are not to make a recreation out of confessing, as though that impresses Spirit. We are not to attach to confession self-deprecating thoughts and feelings: such as, "I'm so unworthy," "How could I have done that," ... Simply confess.
This is a likely reason many persons find confession a very difficult spiritual act. They see confession as admitting an innate unworthiness, as accompaniment to extreme feelings of guilt and failure.
Now, think with me a moment. Take someone you dearly love. He or she comes to you, saying, "I need to confess something to you." You say, "Okay." You listen to the confession. Seeing you love the person so much, would you want anything other than to say something like, "Okay, you are forgiven. Let's move on from this. Don't think about it anymore."
That is what Christ does for us. We have been removed from the darkness of shame and blame and guilt:
God has freed us from the power of darkness, and he brought us into the kingdom of his dear Son. 14 The Son paid for our sins,[Some GK copies: with his blood] and in him we have forgiveness.
*Colossians 1.13-14 (NCV)
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Listen, when we catch a glimpse of the holiness of God, we can conclude we have failed miserably. We have hurt and been hurt, we have been dishonest and been lied to, we have not showed the love we owed someone and they failed us in the same, too, ... I, frankly, let my people know this morning that I would never, based on the life I have lived, be able rightly to stand before them and preach as their Pastor. No, but by Grace I can.
See, God is in the business of taking broken vessels, putting them back together again, and using them in mighty ways. When we are honest in how we have come up short, we can find healing and Spirit using our brokenness healed - or being healed - to have compassion toward others.
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I had to speak with a denominational leader once about a major failure in my life. He said, "I guess you feel pretty embarrassed about this." I said, "Yes," and I explained how I felt. He said, "Yes, for us on the outside of your experience, I know we would be asking, 'What is wrong with Brian.'" He, however, was compassionate, and held both my saddness and embarrassment in Grace. He never spoke a word of blame, but affirmed my ministry and advised me on how to avoid the same mistake again.
That is Grace. Grace allows us to cut the cord of that one thing, or more than one thing, from the past that keeps pulling us back to the past. Grace frees us for now and tomorrow. That is how amazing Grace really is: so amazing we can struggle to believe someone can really love us enough to say, "Okay, let's go on from here. Forget it, and I don't want to hear you speak about it anymore."
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*This writing ministry is the offering of Rev. Dr. Brian K. Wilcox, of SW Florida, a Pastor in the United Methodist Church, and Senior Chaplain for the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office, Punta Gorda, FL. To contact Brian, write to barukhattah@embarqmail.com .
*The St. Augustine quote is at www.thinkexist.com .
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